The Parenting Breakthrough

Several weeks ago I was playing a game with  my in-laws.  I can't remember the title (I'm TERRIBLE with names), but it was one of those games where one person reads a question and then has to guess which answer came from which person.  The question was something like, "What do you hope for your children?" 

 

My answer?  "That they'll move out and never move back in."  Everyone laughed and oooed me when they read it, like it was a mean or bad answer.  It really isn't.

 

I love my kids a ton.  I love to be with them so much that I choose to home school them.  I also love them so much that I want them to be independent enough to move out and never want to move back in.  I think I wrote about this in another post a few weeks ago, but my point today is that my journey to reach this point started when I read a very cool book.

 

You know what? It always seems to start with a book.  I love books.  I love learning.  It's such a gift and I'm constantly amazed at all I get to learn. 

Anyway, back to THE book.  I'm sure that most parents would want their kids to be responsible and independent, but might not think about exactly how that happens (or they think it'll just magically happen as they grow up).  Enter The Parenting Breakthrough by Merilee Boyack.

 

Even if it wasn't chock full of amazing advice and practical, use able information, it would be worth reading.  Merrilee is funny.  It's almost like you're sitting down with a friend and she's telling you all about her life. 

 

But it IS full of all kinds of amazing stuff.  In fact, my copy is highlighted, has notes in it and has the corners of several pages turned down for easy reference. 

 

Do you notice how the cover says it's "a real-life plan to teach kids?"  She has a PLAN, a step by step list to make your own simple, easy plan to teach your kids everything they'll need to know when they leave your home. 

 

Adapting her plan is one of my goals for this year.  I've used bits of her plan (the one she includes as an example) over the past few years, but I haven't actually sat down and adjusted it for our family.  I'm going to. 

 

If you've never heard of this book, go buy it (or be like me and see if your library has it to make sure you really like it first).  Your kids might be unhappy about it at first, but the pride that comes from knowing how to accomplish things far outweighs the negatives (eventually).

 

Here is one of my favorite quotes from the book:

 

"I don't want to give offense to anyone, but I want my children to grow up and move away so I can have grandchildren I can visit!  Isn't that why we had children to begin with?  I want the icing on the cake.  Not only do I want lots of grandchildren, but I want to spend years watching my children raise them.  Talk about joy.  I don't think it can get any better than that.  I want to listen to my kids complaining about how their children won't clean their rooms, don't do what they're told, and are lazy and unmotivated.  I'm going to spend decades just laughing.  My grand kids are going to think they have the happiest grandma on the planet."

Isn't that amazing?! 

Maybe I'll post my version of Merilee's lists when we get them done.  Have any of you read her book?  Made your own plans?  Parenting is one of my favorite subjects to read about, so if you have your own favorite book, let me know so I can add it to my To Read list!

 

Sharing Time - February Week 4

I've wanted to do this all month, but I haven't for two reasons. 

First, I never took the time to get all my thoughts together until the very, very end of each week. 

Second, I'm not really one of those originally creative people.  I am really good at finding what others have done and adding a little tweak (or combining a few into one whole new, like this lesson) and I wasn't sure that was worth posting. 

But I decided to go ahead.  So, keep in mind that my idea is not mine, just a slightly changed version of a few very creative and talented ladies. 

HUM

I'm going to follow pretty closely to the outline to introduce the week's topic (you can view a pdf of the whole year here).  I love singing and the kids really do, too (even though I sound fairly terrible, I think I'll have my counselors help out on this one).  I'll tell them that I'm going to hum a song and when they recognize it, I want them to stand up and hum along with me.  Then I'm going to ask them what they think today's lesson is about.  And we'll talk a little bit about last weeks lesson of being tested and how that ties into following the commandments.

RULES

Here I'm going to have a few kids (4-6 depending on how many kids are there) use some cute signs I found on Hatch Patch to write one of their family rules.  They'll be writing the rules incognito because once we get to this section, I'll have them and their signs (all mixed up) at the front of the room and the rest of the primary will get to guess which rule goes with which child.  When the primary guesses correctly, the child will say why this is a rule in their home and how it protects them.

I'm also going to talk just a little bit about how everyone has to follow rules if they want to stay safe and use a quote I found on Sofia's Primary Ideas by Joseph Smith that says, "I made this my rule: When the Lord commands, do it."

From here I'll talk about a hand out (but I won't actually hand it out until the end to prevent the paper rustling) and their next weeks challenge...

(Just as an aside, we're trying to give them ways to LIVE the gospel every week.  We learn in primary, but the real growth happens when they live the gospel and we want them to have those experiences.)

...which will be to complete the writing/coloring activity recommended in the outline (I found a cute one on Hatch Patch) by looking up scriptures and drawing a related picture and then bring it back the next Sunday.  I will also have them tell me a way they've followed one of the commandments they've read about when they show it to me.

ETERNAL LIFE
 Last, we're going to talk about eternal life.  On Sofia's Primary Ideas (a lot of this comes from here), she has you wrap the letters, randomly hand them out and then have the kids try to unscramble them.  One of my big goals in life is to simplify and so I'm skipping the wrapping step.

After unscrambling the letters (I'm just going to open up word and make each letter big enough for one page) we'll read D&C 14:7, "If you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God."

Then we'll talk about what a promise is.  What it means when we make one compared to what it meas when God makes one.  Can Heavenly Father back out of a promise?

As an object lesson we'll tie two kids legs together three legged style and have then walk across the primary room.  When they're done I'll ask if it's possible that one can raise their leg and walk without the other.  No.  They are BOUND together.  We'll read D&C 82:10, "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."  Heavenly Father HAS to keep His promises, but only when we follow His rules. 

I'll end by bearing my testimony that following the commandments leads us to happiness ("Men are that they might have joy"), referencing their family rules and reminding them of my challenge for them this week.

Good luck with your week!!!

Day of Love

We actually started off our Valentines Day festivities on Wednesday when we sat down to make our Valentines for each other. 

I know, I know, I should probably have taken them to one of the many different Valentine parties that were held somewhere near my house, but I have a hard time doing new things.  They sort of scare me.  So do people I don't know.  That's normal...right?  Right?

Anyway, we were homebodies this year and I have to say, it made the Valentine making much shorter.  They had looked through my Valentine board on Pinterest a few days before picking out which Valentine they wanted to make and thankfully, almost all of them were super easy to make.

Makenna picked out a Hershey kiss ring.  They turned out super cute!  You can find super simple directions on this blog.

This is me trying to model it for you with Makenna photo bombing me (did I use that term right?).

Josh made (or cut out and then had me recut out) the suckers with either the lips or a mustache.  I just love those.  Not only are they easy to make, but they're pretty darn ADORABLE!

I found a template online (not this one, but similar) and then opened it up in photoshop so I could fill in the middle with color.  I could have just had Josh color it...but I didn't.

James made mice.  Cute little heart eared and footed mice.  They weren't quite as easy as the rest of the Valentines and we had to do part, let it dry and come back later.  They also don't work nearly as well with plain, old Elmers glue (sorry Elmer).  They need something a little stickier that dries more quickly.  If I could find my glue gun, we would have used that, instead we used a combination of craft glue and super glue (and yes, I did glue my finger to the candy kiss, but only once).

It's a good thing they turned out so great.  All my kids are huge animal lovers (although I'm still not entirely positive if rodents should count) and so these were favorites.

Ben made superhero suckers.  He made them last year, so he was a pro this year.  I did find a cute template this year to make it even easier.  All he had to do was cut and tape.

Josh is holding up the superhero and you can see a couple laying down on their napkins (this is a picture of our Valentine party from Thursday).

First thing Thursday morning we made ourselves into Lovebugs.  Okay, I didn't, but the rest of them did.  I found a super cute (and easy, my favorite) idea on Pinterest and so we cut out some contruction paper headbands, decorated them and attached our antennae. 

After lunch they cut out some sugar cookie dough I'd made earlier into hearts (my very favorite dough for cut-outs is from Our Best Bites, if you don't know about them, you should check them out, AWESOME!). 

Once they finished, I became their favorite mom in the whole world when I told them that they had the rest of the day off to eat their candy and play together.  All in all, it was a pretty darn great day!

Book Report

A couple weeks ago I added a new line to their daily school check-off lists, Project.  We do a weekly project related to what we're studying in history every Friday, but we haven't really done anything else with any regularity.  I decided (with my new best friend, Pinterest) to change all that.

Each week we talk about books we've read and do a short story narration (depending on how old the kids are, they either narrate a few sentences to me about what they liked in the book or write it themselves and then draw a picture), but we haven't done any official book reports. 

I found a few I really liked several months ago and finally started to work on one during our project time last week. 

They got them finished yesterday and I think they turned out pretty darn good.

They each picked a book to read and then after finishing, decorated and filled a lunch sized bag describing the main character (these two are Ben and Makenna's).

The front has a picture of the main character as well as the title and author (Ben's doesn't have the author because we'd already returned the book to the library and I was to lazy to look it up on the computer while he was writing it).

The sides do two things.  One side tells either what the other characters in the story thought of your main character.  The other side tells several likes and dislikes of the character.

The back side tells either what the character learned during the story or what you learned from him/her by reading their story.

I think the most fun was the inside.  The kids put 5-10 items that would represent their character.  For example, Ben did Jack Stalwart and the water bottle represents how techie he is because in the story he uses invisible water to turn himself invisible.  And Makenna did Michael Vey and in the story they steal a van after having been captured.

Last night the kids brought their sacks upstairs after dinner and did a little presentation for my husband and I.  It was pretty entertaining. 

I'm excited to start our next project!

Groundhogs Day

Okay, okay, so Groundhogs Day was last week.  Sorry.  I'm a smidge late.  But, as I learned, kids don't really know when the day is anyway and enjoy a fun craft and learning about groundhogs any time.  Trust me.

I found this super cute (and even easier) idea on pinterest and knew my kids would love it. 

Before we tackeled the project, I thought we'd talk about groundhogs a little bit and watch a little Punxsutawney Phil.  Sounds easy enough, right?  Well, it wasn't quite that easy due to my lack of preparation.  I was looking up videos on YouTube to watch and came across quite a few strange ones before we finally settled on a couple that actually worked for us.  If I'd planned ahead, I would have gotten a couple books from the library and pre-found a good video to watch (yes, all the finding of strange videos I did with my kids...good news, they thought it was pretty funny).  Oh well, there's always next year.

These were our three favorites:

1. This one is video of a groundhog poking out of his den.  I thought it would have a narrator telling us things about groundhogs, but it didn't.  That didn't matter to my kids at all.  They did their own narrating.  "Oh, he's so cute."  "Is that a bird?"  "He's adorable, what's he doing now?"

2. Then we watched a couple of Punxsutawney Phil trying to find a short one that was actually of this year and we came across this one.  I think I would have rather found one that told about how Phil came to be and described the process (which my kids thought was cool, but strange), maybe I'll find something next year (if you know of a good video or book, let me know!).

3.  Last we looked for a short educational video about groundhogs and ended up watching one that I can't find today.  It was very short, but did have a couple of fun pieces of information, for example, do you know how much dirt a groundhog displaces while digging (I didn't and it's pretty amazing)?  While looking I found this one which is a much better video (don't worry, it also tells you how much dirt they move...).  We'll have to watch it next year.

After watching all these video's I felt we were ready to tackle our project.  We did it over a few days and this is how they ended up.

It's interesting how much of my kids personalities comes out in their art.  They sometimes end up with quite a few similarities, but they're still different enough that I can always tell whose they are.  Especially Ben's.  His den not only has an arcade game, but a dinosaur skeleton hanging on the wall.   Because, you know, no den is complete without some really good wall art.

The projects are new for us and although they do add a chunk of time to our days, my kids and I are really enjoying them. 

Where is your favorite place to find craft/project inspiration?

Happy Birthday James

I have friends who cry and bemoan their kids growing up...it's not something I've ever really understood.  Well, until recently. 

I still don't bemoan.  I'm more excited for them than anything.  I love to watch them learn and grow and become their own person.

It's pretty amazing. 

Lately, though, I've started having these strange little twinges.  I want to hold them a little closer.  Squeeze them and sort of not let them go just a little more often.

It's hard to believe that one day, there's a pretty good chance, most (if not all) of my children will be bigger than me. 

They'll be grown-ups (hopefully) and then they'll want to move out and not ever move back in (hopefully).

See, that's just it, I'm doing my best to teach my kids to be independent so that they will not only be able to live on their own, but they'll want to.

But, then they'll leave, which I'm both excited and sad about. 

Thankfully, it'll be a while until that happens and in the mean time, I'll do my best to treasure and love them.  They're pretty amazing.  Happy 6th Birthday James!!!

Heavenly Father Loves Everyone

Our primary has planned a few activities for the kids this year and our first one is coming up FAST!  We're doing it just before Valentines day (the Saturday before) and thought the theme of Heavenly Father Loves Everyone was perfect.

We've been sticking this flyer in our ward bulletin...

We're going to start out with some small games led by some of the older children.  In the Faith in Gob booklet under the section Serving Others is an achievement for helping to plan and carry out a primary activity.  While they aren't planning the whole activity, I thought allowing them to be in charge of the part of the activity (the part where everyone is showing up and this'll keep them all entertained) would be fantastic.  By the way, this particular achievement also happens to part of the cub scouts religious knot, so boys 8-10 can use it for both!

Then we'll have a few stations for the kids to move through.  I'm still not entirely sure exactly how this will look, but this is my current plan. 

Station #1: The kids will be making The Primary Loves You, Get Well Soon and We're Thinking of You cards for various members of our ward.  The talented lady in charge of this one will be having the kids put together cards she's already gotten ready.  We're having a bunch of paper donated and so after making cards for the ward (depending on time) they can also make a card or two to take home for their family/friends.

Station #2: We'll be putting together some freezer meals for some families in our ward.  We've had ingredients donated for a few different recipes and the kids will get to don some gloves and put them all into ziploc bags ready for the freezer. 

Station #3: We'll have the kids fill out this years Spotlight Questionnaire.  We like to make our questionnaires focused on the years theme for a few reasons.  First, we really do like the theme and want a big emphasis put on it.  Second, it's fun to learn new things about the kids every year.  And (my favorite) third, the spotlights become an amazing resource when it comes time to put together the Primary Program later in the year.  I talked about it more in this post.

So, my current plan will have the starter games together for around 30 minutes, split for the above described stations for 20 - 25 minutes each and then coming back together at the end to decorate heart shaped valentine cookies to take home (aka, eat while making).

The other thing I was thinking about was having the cookie decorating actually be one of the rotated through stations, but I think they'll have a hard time leaving the cookies and they'll probably be a mess and it might just be easier (on us) to have them do it just before they leave.

I'm a little nervous, but I'm pretty excited.  It'll both be fun and help the kids serve some members of our ward.  Help us to love others. 

Are their any activities planned for your primary this year?  What's the most memorable activity you've participated in (or that your kids have)?